Malaysia!

I AM SO BEHIND.

Therefore, Malaysia gets one brief post. It's a shame, because I actually really did love Malaysia. It's one of my favorite places so far. Please, please, please ask me about it when I get home! I'm planning on going back as soon as I can!

Day 1: Did a stupid walking tour of Georgetown that I only signed up for to make Maria (who hails from Singapore) happy. In return, however, she introduced me to every Malaysian food known to mankind (including stingray) and allowed me to stay in a four star hotel with her wonderful dad, step-mom, and half-brother and sister. They were wonderful people. I babysat the little girl Zoe (who is 4), and convinced her to eat her dinner via playing the airplane game which apparently the kids in Singapore have never seen before. We also built sand castles. Maria's overly-masculine British father was humiliated upon ordering a Cosmo and realizing what it actually was. My American-ness sniggered at his British ignorance of pink, frilly American cocktails. Her dad tried to get me drunk by insisting we order more drinks with him. I only got through one Pina Colada and half a tall glass of white wine before I had to stop. The room was spinning just a little bit. I may be a bit of a lightweight.

Days 2 and 3: Homestay!!! I stayed in a small village surrounded by durian trees, leeches, and for some reason a lot of KFC bumper stickers. My hosts did not speak English save for the older daughter, who spoke enough to get by. At first the family was really uncomfortable with me and my roommate (who I had not met before). They pretty much locked us in our room while they prayed (Malaysia is a Muslim country). They did, however, feed us very well. Despite the flies swarming around us like we were poop, I feasted upon fish heads, curry, tom yum, roti channai, fried chicken, and a hell of a lot of tea. On day 2 I'm not joking when I say that I had about 8 meals in one day. The most interesting meal was when I had durian. Durian is a weird, spiky fruit that smells kind of like onions mixed with garlic-coffee breath and dirty socks. The inside is squishy and kind of sweet. The second I ate it, I had to run to brush my teeth to spare my host family the smell of me.

We finally won the host family over by conquering the most difficult Malaysian of all: the 3-year-old. Little Sara was a precocious little thing who made what she wanted very clear to everyone. She could hold a grudge, and proved it. Every time her older sister tried to touch her, Sara would give her the sort of look that Buttons gives to anyone who tries to steal her freshly caught mouse. Upon first meeting me, of course, Sara ran the hell away. That's when we brought out the big-guns: the Hawkeye football. At first Sara didn't quite know what to make of an American football. She clearly liked the colors, but only knew how to spin it around in her arms. When we taught her how to throw it, however, everything changed. I've never seen a little girl who squealed as loudly as she did. We played multiple rounds of catch and where greeted with smiles, laughter, and screams of joy from the little thing. My roommate brought out the coloring books, mini-purses, and sparkles, and Sara just about died. Eventually Sara brought over her little friends. We taught them Yoga and gymnastics, and also gave them removable tattoos. I think that even if we killed someone in front of those kids, they still would have loved us for all the fun we were having.

It was clear that the mother changed her opinion of us from then on. She smiled and did her best to make conversation with the couple phrases in English that she knew. She and her daughter no longer insisted that we stay in our room, and instead watched us with smiles as we danced around the room with Sara. They decided to surprise us by buying us full Malaysian dresses as well as snacks and wedding wands (don't ask) to take back on the ship. We didn't know what to say--no one else's family had done that.

My family dressed me up in full Malaysian garb (including the Muslim hijab, which was actually kind of awesome) and rejoined the SAS group. We watched a fake Malaysian wedding between two of our group members, which was beautiful and really weird. Eventually a Malaysian dance troupe tried to teach all of us a traditional wedding dance. It ended up with the SAS kids wobbling around awkwardly, and me and Sara holding hands and jumping up and down onstage.

Long story short, my family invited me to come back and see them. Go Malaysia, go!