China

China top 10:

 

1. Exploring the "monastery" in Hong Kong, home of the world's largest bronze Buddha. The monastery turned out to be a restaurant, and the Buddha turned out to be hollow and a great place to sell souvenirs to disillusioned Americans looking for answers. Prayer beads for $75? YOU'RE ENLIGHTENED! Also there was a Starbucks there. WTF?

 

2. Eating ice cream out of a balloon. It happens.

 

3. Getting violent food poisoning off of the sushi in Hong Kong. Why is it only the first world countries that make me ill? Oh well. At least I had conveyer belt sushi for $10.

 

4. Singing "I'll Make a Man Out Of You" from Mulan on the Great Wall of China...and getting it on tape!

 

5. HIKING the Great Wall of China.

 

6. Proceeding to get kicked off the Great Wall off China from the angry communist police, dragging my tent half a mile down the road, sleeping in the freezing cold, and then being held in a restaurant for 4 hours in freezing weather while the idiots who started a BONFIRE ON ONE OF THE 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD paid a $3500 bribe and signed a false confession to crimes they hadn't committed to the corrupt officers so they could stay out of jail and I could go to the Forbidden City with my group. ...yeah, that actually happened.

 

7. Wearing 4 layers of shirts and 3 layers of pants to stay warm on the Great Wall of China.

 

8. Buying the best wool jacket of my life, and doing it by bartering the seller down from 710 yuan to 145 yuan and some random Cambodian change.

 

9. Independentely traveling to Old Town Shanghai and the Yu Yuan Gardens by myself, and bitching out the cab driver for trying to rip me off.

 

10. Visiting a restaurant in Old Town, literally pointing at something random and saying "I want that one", then eating it and enjoying it.

Marek Muller University of Iowa, Class of 2013 BA in Bear-Wrangling/Being a Superhero, with a minor in Jewish Stereotyping