Semester at Sea is just over a month away, yet I still haven't acknowledged that it is really happening. I don't know if it's the nerves being so bad that I'm in denial? Or that I'm just so busy with the RenFest and Curious Theatre that I don't have time to think about this August? Or maybe it's the fact that SAS has delayed the posting of final field programs (again), so it's pretty impossible to plan my semester field excursions. So I guess, all in all, it's mid-July and I'm totally not about to go on a trip around the world for a semester.
But I should probably start getting those medical forms fixed up.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Bad Life Choices?
Is it hypocritical of me to want to bash the classmates of mine who appear to be only doing SAS for the party? I mean, I get that it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience and we should enjoy this, but...come on, it's also a once-in a-lifetime experience. What's the point of being drunk and useless through it all? Also, hi? This shit costs an arm, leg, and soul. Why would you do it if all you're gonna do is party like you're back on campus, but say it's totally different because you're doing it in China instead? And while I totally get the excitement of being all touristy and seeing the sights, at what point do these field excursions become less educational/deep/meaningful and more frivolous? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to go on a catamaran cruise in Mauritius as much as the next person, but I'm not costing my parents and myself absurd amounts of money to mess around for a semester. In my not so humble opinion, the one day in Mauritius would be better spent learning cultural history, economic concerns, and you know, actual important college-y things than getting free bbq and drinks and being waited on all day. Come on, guys. Some of you are going to be in debt for years after this. Expensive trips are adult decisions, just like the choice to attend an expensive college. Act like adults about them.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Baggage
My parents found duffel bags they like for me. In other news, figurative baggage:
I started my playwriting workshop today, and I have to say, I'm not surprised with the result. I'm back at home reading and rereading my work from today and basically saying, "are we five, Marek?" Basically, everything seems so childish, so elementary, so disgustingly obvious. So didactic, so preachy, so dumb. And, of course, so disappointing. I've always struggled with my self-esteem. Anyone who knows me is probably reading that last sentence and going "no shit, Sherlock". But I think my self-consciousness likes to rear its ugly head the most in the theatrical world. I've always wanted to be a part of that whole "theatre cult", you know, the people who eat, breathe, and drink theatre, act in twelve shows a year, write three musicals a day, and hit broadway by age 24. I mean, come on, who hasn't dreamed of that at some point? Ever since I saw my cousin Lyssa star in a musical in high school, I knew that was something I had to do. But, like so many other stories in my life, for one reason or another I didn't take any action. I didn't do anything to aid my pipe dream of starring in that musical. Be it nerves, mental illness, or what have you, I just let my interests wane.
The one place everyone always told me I excelled was writing. So, somewhere along the line, I started writing in script format. The style suited me, since I loathed poets, but didn't have the lengthy descriptive capabilities of prose. I've had success with this. I've been published, I've been chosen for festivals, I've won scholarships...yet to be honest, none of it seems good enough. Like, ever. And I know why: it's because I never quite bridged the gap between "me" and "them". No matter what I do, my work seems inferior because I know (and I'm pretty sure "they" know) that I am not and probably will never be a "theatre kid". I can't help it. I'm not artsy, though I love to participate in the arts. I'm not a hipster, or a goth, or an emo, which unfortunately are not stereotypes if they're true. I'm shy, not insufferably outgoing, not unless special circumstances are involved. In terms of that special theatrical soul, I'll be the first to admit that I just haven't "got it".
I want to run away from the workshop very badly right now because I feel like a flamingo wobbling through a murder of crows. How ridiculous must I look? How long can I keep this play going before my peers notice that I'm not even close to one of them? And how long can I seriously expect to get away with my charade? The fact is, to be a professional dancer, you need to have been dancing for nearly your whole life. To be a playwright, shouldn't I have been seeing plays and drinking theatre? And really...shouldn't I WANT to? Because I don't. It'll just make me feel worse than I already do.
So what did this have to do with SAS? Nothing much. But it's my blog, my rules, and I needed to get that off my chest. So yeah. There you go.
I started my playwriting workshop today, and I have to say, I'm not surprised with the result. I'm back at home reading and rereading my work from today and basically saying, "are we five, Marek?" Basically, everything seems so childish, so elementary, so disgustingly obvious. So didactic, so preachy, so dumb. And, of course, so disappointing. I've always struggled with my self-esteem. Anyone who knows me is probably reading that last sentence and going "no shit, Sherlock". But I think my self-consciousness likes to rear its ugly head the most in the theatrical world. I've always wanted to be a part of that whole "theatre cult", you know, the people who eat, breathe, and drink theatre, act in twelve shows a year, write three musicals a day, and hit broadway by age 24. I mean, come on, who hasn't dreamed of that at some point? Ever since I saw my cousin Lyssa star in a musical in high school, I knew that was something I had to do. But, like so many other stories in my life, for one reason or another I didn't take any action. I didn't do anything to aid my pipe dream of starring in that musical. Be it nerves, mental illness, or what have you, I just let my interests wane.
The one place everyone always told me I excelled was writing. So, somewhere along the line, I started writing in script format. The style suited me, since I loathed poets, but didn't have the lengthy descriptive capabilities of prose. I've had success with this. I've been published, I've been chosen for festivals, I've won scholarships...yet to be honest, none of it seems good enough. Like, ever. And I know why: it's because I never quite bridged the gap between "me" and "them". No matter what I do, my work seems inferior because I know (and I'm pretty sure "they" know) that I am not and probably will never be a "theatre kid". I can't help it. I'm not artsy, though I love to participate in the arts. I'm not a hipster, or a goth, or an emo, which unfortunately are not stereotypes if they're true. I'm shy, not insufferably outgoing, not unless special circumstances are involved. In terms of that special theatrical soul, I'll be the first to admit that I just haven't "got it".
I want to run away from the workshop very badly right now because I feel like a flamingo wobbling through a murder of crows. How ridiculous must I look? How long can I keep this play going before my peers notice that I'm not even close to one of them? And how long can I seriously expect to get away with my charade? The fact is, to be a professional dancer, you need to have been dancing for nearly your whole life. To be a playwright, shouldn't I have been seeing plays and drinking theatre? And really...shouldn't I WANT to? Because I don't. It'll just make me feel worse than I already do.
So what did this have to do with SAS? Nothing much. But it's my blog, my rules, and I needed to get that off my chest. So yeah. There you go.
Doing Stuff
How is anyone supposed to decide which field excursions to attend?! I want to do all of them, dammit! Oh, yeah. Money. And time. SCREW YOU, CAPITALIST PHYSICS!!!
Fine, so I have a few things that are DEFINITELY going to happen, even if I have to chew my arm off. Which would probably help in some way?
1. Beijing/Great Wall of China
2. Excursion to Cambodia from Vietnam - Angor Wat and Khmer Rouge Museum
3. EVERYTHING IN JAPAN PLEASE TAKE ME THERE
4. Slave Dungeons in Ghana
5. Safari in South Africa
6. Shanghai Art Museum - the only art I've ever really wanted to see
7. A whole bunch of service trips in foreign schools/orphanages (at least 4)
So yeah, apparently I've already picked quite a few things to do. Let's see if these actually pan out. I'm really glad I've been saving all my money (Daniel Muller, Olivia Symmonds and Katrina Vandeven, pay attention to that tidbit!), and am ecstatic that Mom and Dad are generous enough to not only finance my trip, but also assist partially with my field excursion expenses. They really are a pair of special people. I may be rolling in it after years of saving, but hell if I would have enough money to even get on the ship without them. I love you guys!
As for the rest of you? No, I don't love you. Unless you give me money.
PEACE!
Fine, so I have a few things that are DEFINITELY going to happen, even if I have to chew my arm off. Which would probably help in some way?
1. Beijing/Great Wall of China
2. Excursion to Cambodia from Vietnam - Angor Wat and Khmer Rouge Museum
3. EVERYTHING IN JAPAN PLEASE TAKE ME THERE
4. Slave Dungeons in Ghana
5. Safari in South Africa
6. Shanghai Art Museum - the only art I've ever really wanted to see
7. A whole bunch of service trips in foreign schools/orphanages (at least 4)
So yeah, apparently I've already picked quite a few things to do. Let's see if these actually pan out. I'm really glad I've been saving all my money (Daniel Muller, Olivia Symmonds and Katrina Vandeven, pay attention to that tidbit!), and am ecstatic that Mom and Dad are generous enough to not only finance my trip, but also assist partially with my field excursion expenses. They really are a pair of special people. I may be rolling in it after years of saving, but hell if I would have enough money to even get on the ship without them. I love you guys!
As for the rest of you? No, I don't love you. Unless you give me money.
PEACE!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Penny-Pinching J.E.W.
You know something big is coming up when I'm overcome with guilt for spending money on the corset I've wanted since I was, like, 12 years old. I have it now, but it's like...what if I needed that $155 for an elephant ride to feed orphans in Africa or something? With a mace?
That or I'm just incredibly stingy. Yeah, I think that's definitely it.
Summer is gonna speed up, and the important stuff is about to happen. Wednesday is the start of my workshop at Curious Theatre. I'm actually freaking out more about that than my upcoming study abroad. Makes sense, right? Ren Faire ends the 31st, and Mom's set up to send me to Iowa and arrive on the 10th of August. Then on the 23rd I take off for Montreal to stay with three girls I've never met before and explore a country I've never seen before...in French. Then on the 25th, work-study orientation. And then, 24 hours later, OMG BOAT RIDEEEEEE.
Til then, let the planning commence!
That or I'm just incredibly stingy. Yeah, I think that's definitely it.
Summer is gonna speed up, and the important stuff is about to happen. Wednesday is the start of my workshop at Curious Theatre. I'm actually freaking out more about that than my upcoming study abroad. Makes sense, right? Ren Faire ends the 31st, and Mom's set up to send me to Iowa and arrive on the 10th of August. Then on the 23rd I take off for Montreal to stay with three girls I've never met before and explore a country I've never seen before...in French. Then on the 25th, work-study orientation. And then, 24 hours later, OMG BOAT RIDEEEEEE.
Til then, let the planning commence!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Dusting
Putting the finishing touches on the blog template, and I'm quickly realizing I have no design skills. Shoot.
On a happier note, I have my visas, my vaccinations, and all my forms in for SAS. I have the best job in the entire world, which is paying me a full time paycheck for part time work. That coupled with what I've been saving since I was, well, BORN should come in handy when purchasing my field excursions. I also have my NSCS Scholar at Sea application prepped and almost ready for submission.
Fewer than two months now. This is getting real, y'all.
On a happier note, I have my visas, my vaccinations, and all my forms in for SAS. I have the best job in the entire world, which is paying me a full time paycheck for part time work. That coupled with what I've been saving since I was, well, BORN should come in handy when purchasing my field excursions. I also have my NSCS Scholar at Sea application prepped and almost ready for submission.
Fewer than two months now. This is getting real, y'all.
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