Alright, alright...to be fair, here's the email I sent my parents on Neptune Day:
"So.
I know I've been a really good kid for most of my life, and have never really done anything too crazy. And I know that you know that I'm extremely obsessed with my appearance, so much so that I've been known to weigh myself upwards of 10 times a day.
What you don't know is that on Semester at Sea, when we pass the equator like we did today, there's a ritual called Neptune Day where some of the girls liberate themselves by shaving their heads.
I may have done that today. I cried the whole time, like literally sobbed. But I think that since I thought the only thing beautiful about myself was my fake red hair, it was unhealthy for me to keep it. So I hate being bald, really really hate it. And I feel hideous and disgusting. But I want you to know that I did it for the right reasons. I hope I can find something beautiful about myself now that isn't from a bottle of dye.
I'll have very, very short brown hair when you see me in December."
So there you go. I look like a boy right now, I hate it, I hate myself, and I don't want to go outside. But I know it's good for me. If I can't go to a temple and meditate in India for three days, I guess I'll be doing this and seeing the repercussions for the next year. Does anyone remember what my natural hair color is? Because I don't.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Explanation
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Marek, I'm so proud of you. You are a gorgeous person, inside and out, and I hope that losisng that security blanket lets you see that. I love you!
ReplyDeleteDammit Olivia, you stole my thoughts. Marek, you are beautiful, and I'm pretty sure you will look absolutely fuggin' adorable with a short brown pixie cut when I see you next. Hell, with those big blue eyes of yours, you can probably rock the bald look if you can fake the confidence. And hopefully in time you won't have to fake it. I'm very proud of you, and I miss you! I can't wait to see you again and your natural hair color for the first time! Though I will miss the ginger jokes...
ReplyDeleteI love you! Good luck not getting molested by monkeys in South Africa!
Beauty is more than skin deep, and I'm happy to hear you're taking the dive to find that out for yourself. As counter-productive as it might be to the idea of self-image not controlling your self confidence, I'd also like to point out that Natalie Portman proved that look can be rocked in V for Vendetta. Also, I tried to send you an email but it got rejected, so I'll be trying again later.
ReplyDeleteI second Spencer's Natalie Portman example. Dayum.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you, Marek dear. Remember: you are ALWAYS beautiful.